Fag Hags - The English version of Mariliendres

As my friend King explained me (thanks King!), the English version of Mariliendre is Fag Hag. I have been looking for that term and, although at the beginning it was used as an insult, nowadays it is used as a common term.

We can find the definition of Fag Hag in the Wikipedia:

Fag hag is a gay slang phrase referring to a woman who either associates mostly or exclusively with gay and bisexual men, or has gay and bisexual men as close friends. The phrase originated in gay male culture in the United States and was historically an insult. Some women who associate with gay men object to being called fag hags, while others embrace the term. The male counterpart, for men who have similar interpersonal relationships with gay and bisexual men is fag stag, part of hag-ism, the identification of a person with a group—usually united in terms of sexuality, gender identity, or shared sex—of which he or she is not officially a member. However, it must be stated that some, if not many "fag stag" "relationships" are merely the result of straight men who go to gay bars with gay men in order to "pick up" straight women, as the gay bar scene is considered to be a safe one for straight women, hence, their usual social defenses would be in a far more relaxed state than they would be if the meeting occurred in a straight singles bar. For men who have many lesbian friends the slang terms Dutch Boy, lesbro or dyke tyke apply.

Fag hags are frequently stereotyped as outgoing women who are seeking a substitute for heterosexual relationships, or who are secretly (or openly) sexually attracted to gay men. In fact, many women who identify as fag hags are already in romantic relationships, either with straight men or with women but appreciate the alternative experience of socializing with gay men and may prefer the gay culture to the straight counterpart. In contrast, women with open sexual interest in gay (or bisexual) men call themselves girlfags.

In interviews with gay men and self-described fag hags, the most common theme is safety. A rich relationship can develop between a straight woman and a gay man without sexual tension. The fag hag relationship allows the participants to separate intimacy and sexuality.

That definition is really interesting in some points. I do agree in the last part of it, where it explains that the most common theme between fag hags and gays is safety. I have been in a relationship since 2 years ago, and I know that I can go out, dance and sleep with my gay friends and nothing will happen. In fact, they have visited me in London and I have been sleeping with them without any problems. People ask me if I tell my boyfriend that I sleep with my gay friends, and the answer is always the same “Of course, I do!”. There is no sexual tension between a Fag hag and a gay guy, it is all about respect and intimacy.

 What I don’t agree about is the following statement “Fag hags are frequently stereotyped as outgoing women who are seeking a substitute for heterosexual relationships, or who are secretly (or openly) sexually attracted to gay men”. I have been reading in many blogs that Fag hags are women that are secretly in love with their gay friends. Why there it should be any kind of attraction or love between the two of them? Why do Fag Hags need to be secretly in love with gay men? It seems that we can’t think about natural and innocent relationships, can we?  

Laura.